What is self care, and how does it impact on being a good parent?
Self-care can mean different things to different people. For some, it can be the basic necessities being met for day to day living, and others it is a form making time for one’s self.
For myself, self-care is about investing in you. This can be done in various ways from curling up and watching Netflix, getting engrossed in your favourite book, having a bubble bath, going for a walk, yoga, a nap, whatever it is that you need.
And once your a parent, self-care becomes so much more vital. I found after having Evan I found myself getting more overwhelmed and exhausted as my days ping-ponged from looking after him, working, cooking, cleaning, etc…and then repeat. I questioned how can I be an amazing parent and embody patience, happiness, enthusiasm when I am constantly running on empty? To take care of your nearest and dearest, I had to start by taking care of myself first.
How to start with this
It is really important to acknowledge that self-care will help you improve your overall well-being.
Self-care didn’t come easy to me and it is something I had to work on to bring into my lifestyle. And, firstly it is was about deciding on what self-care actions I was going to implement.
For myself, I chose to start my blog giving me a creative outlet as well as burning wax melts (you should check out Denise’s Homescents for amazing scents) and candles to create a relaxing environment.
But here are a few other ideas to help you out:
- Writing – this can be blogging, writing short stories – can type of creative writing really.
- Going for a walk.
- Listening to mindfullness podcasts.
- Taking a bath.
- Starting a new book.
- Making time to catch up with friends.
- Taking up a new hobby.
- Creating time to pamper yourself.
Hopefully now you’ve got an idea, let’s start building self-care into a lives.
How to make this possible as a parent
For me, the biggest struggle was fitting it into my daily life and making time. I had to mentally create a plan on how and when I would squeeze this time into to my day and then consciously build it into my routine. Once, manufactured into your every day, like me, you too will then reap the rewards. Energy levels rise, your mood improves and suddenly you feel so much more equipped to handle all the highs, lows and challenges that parenthood brings.
My son is nearly 3 and I am just making self-care a more regular part of my life, so I do know and appreciate just how hard it can be to snag that ‘me’ time. I know how challenging it can be you’ve got a new child and these moments to unwind can be few and far between, but that is why it is so much more important to have and use your support system. It could be your partner, parent, friend – whoever it is, lean on them and utilise their support to etch this time out for yourself. If that isn’t an option you could always look at your day and plan your time in either in the morning or evening when the kids are in bed. Once you’ve managed to make time, self-care seems so much more feasible.
And don’t feel guilty for having this time away from your child! I fell into that trap and forgot that I am a person too. And, like all people, we have basic needs too – just like our children. Remember you cannot give 100% to your children when you’re running at 50% capacity.
Another way to care for yourself is to ‘take a break’ throughout the day. If you were in the office you’d get this time, being at home should be no different. Somewhere throughout my day, I will schedule 10 or so minutes for a cuppa and to ‘switch off’ my mind, maybe read a little or just put my feet up. For myself, I tend to squeeze this in when Evan is usually napping.
Now embrace it
Now that you’ve focused on you, you’ll be feeling more energised and more in control. So, now is the time to embrace that as you throw full self back into your parenthood journey. It won’t matter that parenthood can be a little messy as you’ll be there and completely present for your child.
So by allowing and working on building that ‘me’ time into your routine you should find yourself less prone to having a wandering mind, and more invested within those moment with your child.
Just remember there is no reason to sacrifice self-care. To be the best parent, you need to be the ‘best’ you.
Recounts of Kim 
I definitely lack in this apart from writing I don’t really wind down! I need to start using my headspace app and find a new book to get into, especially before baby number 2 comes 😬
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It doesn’t come natural to me either. I have to constantly work on it or I know it would not happen. But the more we work on it the more second nature it will be when both of our families grow 😊
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This post is so relatable! I also struggle to find time for self-care, and I’ve been working on it too!
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It’s so difficult especially when it doesn’t come naturally. Hopefully you’re now starting to feel the benefits of it
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Self-care is something I for SURE struggle with! I work full time and have two littles ones, making time for everyone’s else always seems to come first, but lately I have been pushing myself to get up before the house “gets up” to get my self-care time and it’s been wonderful! I get to read, journal, blog, drink water in peace, lol, whatever I want to do! I think that self-care looks differently for everyone and it’s true that you do have to figure that out what that is for you!
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Aww I love that you make this a priority for you! It’s great to hear all the different ways you can bring it into your life it you choose to do so 😊
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This is such a great reminder and definitely an issue I struggle with as a mom. Parents are people too!
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I really love to walk while listening to music.I walk even when I find just a minute. These all are lovely ideas, thank you
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Self care is so important! Thank you so much for the reminder & tips!
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i’m not yet a parent, but you are so right! self care is so crucial for your wellbeing & I feel like soon to be mothers / mothers neglect that because they feel guilty etc..
loved this read! you have a new follower.
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Aww you are too kind. I think everyone can fall guilty of neglecting themselves at one time or another but when you chuck a baby into the mix it definitely can be easier to put your needs to one side
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you are so right! balance is key
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This is so hard to do! When we are so busy making sure everyone else has what they need, we forget what we need. It has been a goal of mine to make self-care a priority. 🙂
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I know it is so challenging to do. I’ve had to make it a goal and a priority of mine. Good luck with your goal and enjoy all the lovely ‘me’ things you’ve got planned 😊
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Thank you for sharing these thoughts, self-care is such an important thing to invest in whatever stage of life you are in- and especially if you have lots of other responsibilities such as being a parent x
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100% agree! Love this so much
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100% agree! Love this post so much!
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Beautiful photos, and well said. Save love and care is so important. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
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Thank you! It can be so hard to do if it doesn’t come naturally (like for me). Hopefully it’ll remind us all that we deserve that little bit of tlc in each of our lives
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Love this post!! I’m not a parent yet but my husband and I are planning on kids soon, and I always stress thinking about how I will ever find time for myself. Self care is so important and I can only imagine how vital it is as a parent!
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This really hits close to home. Having a baby during a pandemic and being quarantined at home for almost a year—self care was difficult to prioritize. I found myself wearing my pjs and going through the day making sure my little one was well cared for. I have since learned to add in some mommy time but it’s still hard.
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It is so difficult! For me it is something I have to work on constantly to make sure I am making that time. I found using a planner helps me make sure I can plan some time out for myself.
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Such a great idea! I will have to give that a try. Never thought of using a planner for self care but it’s perfect.
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This advice about self-care is applicable to people with long-term health conditions too. I often feel guilty about not doing enough or as much as I used to, then I have to remind myself to do things like taking a walk or a having bath.
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